He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
