My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
