I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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