I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
