you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
