yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
