I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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