Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
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Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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