New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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