Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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