2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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