My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
