theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
