Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
