We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
