I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
