And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
