sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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