And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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