i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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