Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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