hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
