fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
