East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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