The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
