i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
