Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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