I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize