why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize