were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
