They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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