My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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