Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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