i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
