He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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