Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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