I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
