Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
