I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
