wrigley field is MILF paradise
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize