I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
