Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
