Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
