Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
