but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
