who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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