you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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