I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
