I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
