i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
