I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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