? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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