it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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