I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize