Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
