Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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