Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
