Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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