my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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