My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
