Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
