oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
