just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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