We tried having a conversation with our noses.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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